Everything is gonna be alright?
by Jellicle
Summary: One shot. Paige is having a hard time dealing with Chris' death. Paige POV


Disclaimers: Don't own Charmed. In fact, I own nothing.

Summary: Paige is having a hard time to get over Chris' death.

A/N: This is something that came to my mind right after I watched the finale. For the first time, I actually felt for Paige. Do you realize the only time Piper's smile faded was when she focused on her youngest sister? She saw her tears.

Feedback: I'd truly appreciate.

This is dedicated to all of you out there who like me, misses Chris a lot. Chris-aholic forever, we are.

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Title: Everything is gonna be alright?

Right now there are birds singing outside my window and I wish I could make them stop. I need silence.

There's just so much I need to put out of my chest but I just don't know how. I can't find the strength to do so. I can't find strength at all inside me.

Where do I go from here? What should I do? I am blind and I am deaf. I am lost and no one can find me.

I wish I could close my eyes and never need to open them again. Or maybe I wish I'd close my eyes and when I finally opened them I'd find a better, painless, world.

I wish you were here. I wish you were here because you brought me hope. But now you're gone and hope seemed to have faded away with you.

I look at the tiny version of you, the new version of you. He should bring me back hope, but why can't I feel it?

I tried, I really tried to come close to that sweet little one, but I can't. Not now. Not after seeing you leaving. Not with this feeling that I'll have to see you leaving us again. It's too painful.

But Phoebe insists. Piper is getting annoyed. She thinks I don't like her son. She thinks I am rejecting him. But no. I am rejecting life and what it did to him. She doesn't know yet. She doesn't know what happened.

And I wish I didn't know either.

I am here, looking to these stupid birds that keep singing and singing, as if there was something to celebrate. I can't find a reason. Not at all. I don't feel like fighting. I don't feel like smiling. Piper even called Richard the other day so he could come to visit me. She thought he could cheer me up. But his presence only reminded me of what life can do to a person. How magic can destroy someone's future. Magic is a bless but sometimes it is also a curse.

I can't even come close to Wyatt. Thinking that he was the reason his little brother came and, in the end, the reason he died, just makes me feel uncomfortable around him, and he isn't 2 years old yet.

I am not sure where I'll go from here. I know I can't leave my life. I can't turn my back to my destiny.

But I just don't know.

I suddenly hear low cry. I know everyone is downstairs, probably in the sunroom or the kitchen, so his cry will stop soon. But for some odd reason, I feel something pushing me to go see the baby. So I go.

I find him in his crib. He looks so defenseless. He is still crying. Why don't his parent come to pick him up?

Poor kid.

I bend to pick him up but I stop midway.

I can't.

And he keeps crying, and I can see the sweet face of his turning red.

Poor baby.

I wish I could do something.

Where's Piper? Where's that useless husband of hers?

Poor Chris.

I bend down again and slowly touch his soft dark hair.

I can't do this. Can I?

So I close my eyes and take deep breaths. In and out. in and out.

And then I reach one hand at a time.

First I feel uncertain. I am still not sure I can do that.

But he opens those bright green eyes of his. Oh God how I miss his puffy eyes.

Oh God how I miss him.

He was more like a little brother than anything else.

Now I am holding him in my pale arms. I am holding baby Chris for the first time.

And he stopped crying. And I hold him close. And I don't wanna let go.

I will never let you go, sweetie.

I'll protect you. I promise.

And I start rocking him in my arms, slowly, lovingly.

Then I feel a hand resting in my shoulder, followed by an attempt of a hug.

I glance at the person by my side. Leo smiles to me.

"Everything is gonna be alright."

Yeah.

Now I finally know.

The end.


End file.
